It's hard out here for a pimp / having to whip my transsexual tricks

Whoa. I just read the Oscar nominations. I'm too excited:

hoes & pimps

queers

transsexuals

pill popping men in black

terrorists & big oil

and Dolly Parton!!!!

To be on the other side of a LONG week

Last week pulled another emotionally draining stunt.
After putting the pieces together, I'm realizing the past four weeks has been a whirlwind.
Unbearable: no
Annoying: yes
Lessons learned: plenty

As I rode the train home last night, I thought about what it meant to let my locs go. After having them for almost 5 years, I cut them off Thanksgiving weekend '05. I remembered being nervous. Scared. My hands were shaking. Tears gathered along the bottom of my eyelids. But it was something that I needed to do. I had to get rid of a lot of energy and memories that were wrapped around that hair.

I also reflected on last week and the three weeks before that. By the time I made it to my stop, I had come to the following conclusion: the universe, for some unknown reason, has restructured/gotten rid of/redefined a lot of people, places, goals, & opinions that I've clung to for a long time.
It's been so jarring because it's happened in rapid succession.

So what happens now?
Who knows.
But I remain optimistic.

you're getting this, right?

i'm having a great hair day.

The jury's back

So:

I've acknowledged it for what it is,
stuck it in the "put it in a play one day" pocket,
and I'm pushing along.

Whew, that was a close one.

my ability to ascertain someone's physical appearance based solely on frivolous accounts

in the past, my friends have told me (un)flattering stories about a person who i don't know or haven't seen, and i've been able to paint an accurate portrait of what type of person they are & what they look like.

recently, my sketches have been WAY OFF:

Lanky & lethargic turns out to be robust & active.
Straight & promiscuous turns out to be gay & celibate.
Hipster boys turn out to be "sitcom dads."


Have I lost "the gift?"
Have my friends become really, really bad storytellers?
Are people not so predictable and easily categorized?

~sigh~

a letter-->a word-->a sentence-->a scene

quiet day today

lots of thinking
lots of writing
1 1/2 cups of coffee
1 viewing of "magnolia"
1 $7 lunch @ lemongrass
1 satisfied woman

what excessive amounts of caffeine does to budding creativity

i've recently been bitten by the "why the hell not?!" bug. it's an evil lil' thing that, after burrowing into your skin, convinces you of your ability to do something you once feared.

be warned: there are side effects.

taking the plunge

the inspiring thing is: the possibilities are endless.
the paralyzing thing is: the possibilities are endless.

just depends which way i remember to look at it.

Take a number & step to the left

SO MUCH TO WRITE ABOUT yet so little time.
I'm at work. Waiting for the clock to declare my freedom.

Last week was a complete roller coaster ride. A different emotional package landed on my doorstep every-freaking-day. And this isn't me being melodramatic. This is on some serious, literal shit.

BUT

Looking back, I believe last week left more "blessings in disguise" rather than "flaming bags of shit."

Last week's soundtrack: Sufjan Stevens, Nick Drake, Martha Wainwright, The Decemberists

Last week's hot button issues: loyalty, relationships, friendships, creativity, page numbers

Last week's successes: pep rally at cosi, two cute waitresses at Mud cafe, a good night's sleep on a tempurpedic mattress, reuniting with my "manhood".

resolutions06

Here we sit in 2006

this is a picture i took new year's day. i was waiting for the 1 train @ 125th and thought this view was nice.


as i type this, i'm chilling at home
even though i should get groceries, do laundry, go to the gym, and work on other stuff
but who can function under such shitty weather?

the new year's party was guh-rate
(yay!)
the website has a spiffy new look
(yay!)
i found a great barber
(yay!)
and i have to sit down and fine-tune my resolutions
(silence.)

i'll post my plans for '06 and trust that you will frequently demand progress reports

i think i did a pretty damn good job in '05
i did a lot of stuff that I needed to get done
and i plan to continue the trend in '06